Snaps To You Swimmers!

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 1:35 PM

I can't get enough of this heat. Perhaps it's because of my Midwestern upbringing and the countless stifling summers I had to endure, where temperatures hover well into the nineties with heavy humidity hanging in the air. It's the type of environment that makes breathing a chore, when no amount of showering will ever make you feel completely clean. It was a seasonal hell I lived for eighteen years. Without air conditioning. Somehow my parents reasoned that because we had a pool in our backyard, we had no need for refreshment indoors. They did not take into account the fact that they consistently opened the pool late (due to some lame excuse like a duck invasion or cottonwood clogging the filters) or that one could not very easily sleep or do homework (I come from a long line of nerds and spent many a summer at academic camps) whilst performing somersaults around a foam noodle. All the whining and perpetually sticky skin sunk in and my parents broke down and finally installed AC. After my sisters and I moved off to college.

Now I'm finding myself thrown into that same scenario: trying to function in an apartment that generates heat from its every square inch, being too hot to accomplish anything except take yet another shower, and sleeping with a fan one inch above my face. I thought a move to the Pacific Northwest would cease such activities but just like I thought I'd never have to scrape ice off another car, Seattle has proven me wrong.

Despite the fact that I feel like I'm back in Ohio, one enormous distinction has made it very clear that I am not: the plethora of natural swimming holes. The closest I ever came to Cleveland-hugging Lake Erie was when my family would go on annual fishing trips and I'd stand three feet from it's murky edge. After reeling in line after walleye-less line, I deemed the brown-green water toxic and unlivable. It was this recollection that made me shudder when last Sunday a friend asked if I wanted to counter the oppressive heat by cooling off at Madison Park Beach. "What, like swim in the lake?" I asked. Her response was something to the effect of, "Duh."

So I went. And my understanding is that many of you did as well, for one final dip with Mo in her Performance Swim Class. What a feat! You took on boat-induced waves, darting fish, nebulous vision and kids in floaties to traverse Lake Washington. Talk about a killer workout!

In a nostalgic urge to recapture my youth, I decided I HAD to go off the floating dock diving board; the short distance to the ladder alone was tiring. Granted, I was wearing a tankini that was probably as old as my last cannonball success, which resulted in a lot of one-armed freestyle: one hand sculling an exaggerated "S" pattern, the other clenching on to my baggy bottoms. Even if I had encompassed the foresight to forgo the ill-fitting suit, it still would have been a challenge. Which is exactly why I'm commending you all right now. Your body may have been sore the next day but I'm sure it will be thanking you in the end. And if that was your first time swimming in open water, I hope it's not also your last. It certainly wasn't mine! I can't wait to get in more beach time. Maybe I'll even dig out my old Speedo... and see if it has any elastic left before diving into the fun headfirst.

Sayonara Sweethearts!

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 8:12 PM

In case you are not tapped into the grapevine, two of our finest trainers will be leaving us in just a few short weeks. Tony Moses is headed for Barcelona, where he'll trade in weigh early morning classes and Peso's Sunday brunch burrito for sangria and long leisurely walks through Gaudi parks. Jon Yeager will soon be soaking up the sun in southern California, where we can only hope he'll take his bold shorts and impressive bench pressing skills to the beach. Both men will be greatly missed, but their presence will undoubtedly linger.

Tony and Jon's final ZUM hurrah will be our annual Urban Adventure Race on Saturday, August 15th. If you haven't already signed up, you may do so at the front desk. It is going to be super fun! If revelry is more your style, be sure to come to the post-race party that starts right here at 2pm. Not only will you give us a chance to celebrate you, our beloved members, but it'll be one last chance to get in some quality Jon 'n Tony time.

A De/Retox Respite

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 11:09 AM

Upon looking at the overwhelming list of entries detailing my de/retox, it has occurred to me that perhaps you dear blog readers are tired of the trials and tribulations of my GI system. I don't blame you. I've certainly had enough. So, I am going to stray away from this riveting topic and instead focus on more pressing front desk issues, such as the hard road I walked to find such plush paper towels, or estimated annual attrition rates of members' earphones. In the meantime, while I craft such masterpieces, I am going to repost an older blog titled "5 Reasons to Head Indoors" because doing so will buy me more time, and given our recent tropical heat wave, I feel the subject matter is fairly apt.

5 Reasons to Head Indoors

With the streak of sunshine we've been having, the idea of hitting the treadmill instead of the trail probably seems preposterous. The question, Who could exercise indoors on a day like this? may cross your mind and the answer is simple. You could. Or perhaps said better, you should. I know pleasant days in Seattle are like unhappy lottery winners - scare - but there are several reasons why visiting your favorite boutique fitness club may just be in your best interest. Here are five:

1. No sun worries. True, we all need our fifteen minutes of daily rays, especially since we live in a city that offers so little natural vitamin D. However, that glorious glow can quickly turn into too much of a good thing. And although yes, there are plenty of potions promising high levels of SPF out there, have you ever had the stinging combo of sweat/sunblock creep into your eyes? Not fun! What is fun though is joining friends for a summertime happy hour, which may be wholeheartedly enjoyed after having just dragged yourself inside for Hardcore. You can even request a patio table, the one without the umbrella. For fifteen minutes.

2. Sometimes it's hard to conjure up the motivation to kick your own butt. Fortunately, we are armed with superior staff to do that for you. Our first-rate instructors and trainers may be just what you need to squeeze that extra oomph out of your workout.

3. You won't miss the surprise that comes with guessing the day's soundtrack. Depending on who happens to be playing DJ at the moment, music can range from Madonna's greatest hits to Led Zeppelin (complemented by some of staff's sweet air guitar skills) to martini lounge beats to love ballads (although the last is usually by accident and thankfully short-lived). It's as if the world's largest jukebox were put on shuffle. This way your workout can carry on while your IPOD sits at home by the microwave, forgotten and all alone.

4. Accidents are less frequent. Although some caution should be applied while walking the halls (you never know when a front desk stud is going to turn the corner high-speed with a load of dirty towels in tow), it is nowhere near as daunting as dealing with careless drivers that put the pedal to the metal and disregard pedestrian signs/bike lanes at will. Here, you can get into your zone without worrying about whether others (especially those operating heavy machinery) are also in theirs.

5. The front desk thrives on banter. If you don't grace us with your presence, with whom may we comment on this glorious weather?

Escape from the heat in our sweaty sanctuary!

posted by lydz @ 2:25 PM

Getting to work at 6am this morning, I could already feel the heat outside building into a muggy and sticky atmosphere. Don't get me wrong, I love the sun and the heat, but it makes it really hard to find motivation to get in my running or outdoor park workouts when the heat oppresses me into full blown laziness. This weather begs me to go home after work and sit in my hammock, not go sweat it out with a run around Greenlake and walking lunges though Lower Woodlands. After training clients at ZUM today in the pleasantly cool environment of ZUM, I got super inspired to take Kathryn's Hardcore class at noon. It was awesome! The sweat that was produced was from good old hard work, not my body fighting off global warming. Work out done, check. Time for the hammock.
See you tomorrow ZUM!

Retox Day 3: Bring on the Creamy Smooth Stuff!

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 3:43 PM

I think that

D elicious
A mazing
I ncredibly
R ich
Y ummy &

I nsanely
S atisfying.

Will my love for all things dairy be reciprocated and take on a level of mutual respect? I can hardly wait to find out...

Retox Day 1

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 2:14 PM

OhmyGodIlovecoffee.Seriously.Love it.From the moment I plopped the tea kettle on my back burner and propped a filter in my Melitta I knew it was going to be a good day.Maybe it's just the mental association of having java in my system.Maybe it's a true physiological dependence.It doesn't matter.I don't care.I love it and can't wait to have more.Per my handbook, I'm supposed to have two daily servings of the reintroduced food along with my regular meals.I'm not sure I can handle another dosage.My energy is already triple what it was yesterday.I can see why caffeine is labeled a drug.I feel a little bit like Helen Hunt looked when she starred in an after school special as a troubled teen that snorted PCP.She jumped out of a second-story window.I don't think I'm quite at that point but I might be if I have another cup of dark roast.My instinct tells me not to, that I should ease my way back into it, despite what the guide says.But perhaps I will because man is it good.OhmyGodIlovecoffee.

Detox Revelations: The End of Week 3

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 4:12 PM

Today is the last day of my detox. Sort of. I thought it was, but just as I was about to release a tear of sadness (is it possible to have separation anxiety from rice protein powder?), I opened my program guidebook and realized what exactly the reintroduction period will entail. Each food item that was off-limits over the last three weeks will reappear one at a time for a solid three-day stretch. If no symptoms occur I can move on to the next item, all the while noting any physical changes, discomfort or problems in the manual's handy little chart. This posed a bit of a problem as I had envisioned myself diving right into the things I missed most - coffee, yogurt, cereal - without entertaining the idea that there may also be restrictions post-detox. I suppose I'll have to prioritize my cravings and determine which item I can't possibly live without for one more day.

At the moment the list is as follows:
1.) coffee
2.) dairy (protein!)
3.) alcohol
4.) corn
5.) tomatoes
6.) eggs (more protein!)
7.) wheat
8.) peanuts
9.) soy

Looking over my rankings, I think I understand how I ended up with stomach trauma in the first place - coffee and alcohol as the base of my personal food pyramid? Maybe I should have undergone a self-imposed intervention rather than a cleanse. Regardless, I'm anxious to put the forbidden fare back into my system to see what sort of internal insurgence ensues...

Detox Day 20: To Exercise or not to Exercise....

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 1:10 PM

Over the past twenty days I've probably been a little too excited about having an excuse not to exercise,* but I've still managed to go on some short runs and dust off my downward dog in an attempt to try yoga for the first time in months. However, given my reduced food intake it's been hard to gauge an appropriate length of time and level of intensity for my athletic endeavors. Today, while spending my lunch break on the elliptical, it became very apparent that the protein shake I had for breakfast was not enough to sustain my forty minutes of impromptu activity. I started to get a wee bit lightheaded and with my regular go-to electrolyte stabilizer nuun currently not an option, the outlook was hazy. My mind drifted and eventually stalled upon a memory of a poignant little show from my youth titled Full House, specifically episode number 8 of season 4. As it was a program that dealt with serious issues, this particular installment featured a pubescent D.J. Tanner enduring a crash diet so that she could confidently wear a bikini to Kimmy Gibbler's birthday pool party. Said diet included no food and excessive exercise. Cut to the Tanner family visiting a local gym, D.J. going crazy on her cardio equipment of choice (was it a StairMaster?) and then collapsing. I thought of myself in that same situation and decided that I would be okay with facing the same fate if a.) I suffered no head trauma and b.) I got to come back to consciousness in the arms of Bob Saget. Since neither was a guarantee, I opted to get off the machine and eat lunch. It has proven to be a wise decision.

*During Weeks 1 and 3 I could engage in light activity, as that helps the release of toxins but Week 2 listed restorative yoga and long easy walks as adequate exercise since the mid-program regimen is more intense and taxing on the body.

Detox Day 16: Food (or lack thereof) for Thought

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 3:11 PM

When I first started the detox program and Dr. Lauren told me I'd have to give gum the boot, I thought I might have a panic attack. If you've ever had a conversation with me, you may have noticed a little colorful blob bouncing around the back of my mouth. Much to the dismay of my mother, it's a habit in which I partake rather regularly and much to her displeasure, rather visibly. However, I've found that life without Orbit is not so bad. Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that I'm temporarily off the bean and no longer have coffee breath to cover up. Still, it's reassuring to know that if gum should cease to exist, I would survive. Maybe I'll even reconsider my compulsive chewing (ergo averting a premature onset of TMJ). Just be forewarned - I eat a lot of garlic.

Detox Day 15: The Home Stretch

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 2:25 PM

Today is the first day of the third and final week of my detox program. I celebrated by cracking open a 100-calorie snack pack of cashews, Brazilian nuts, almonds and hazelnuts. (While savoring every single one of the ten-morsel serving, I congratulated myself for surviving a nut-less Week 2 while fourteen of said snack packs were stowed away in my kitchen cupboards. Evidently I do have a shred of self-restraint in my body.) Even with the addition of most nuts, beans and quinoa back into my diet, I don't think my food intake will change much over the next six and a half days. It's a lot of work - spending more time at the grocery store and in my kitchen, rolling my eyes at the price of organic produce, grilling the waiter about every single ingredient in the menu's "vegan" option and its complete preparation, declining lunch invitations to avoid the before mentioned scenario, attempting to go out dancing with friends because it didn't seem right to spend another Saturday night reading at home only to get tired after fifteen minutes and function like a total zombie the following day - BUT it's totally worth it. I feel so much better than I did this time last month. And honestly, despite all the restrictions, the only thing I'm truly missing and couldn't imagine living without is coffee. Okay, and peanut butter ice cream.

Detox Revelations: The End of Week 2

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 1:41 PM

Today marks the end of Week 2. Boy, was it fiberific. And ricerific. And bloaterific. Needless to say I'm anxious to add back the things I had to remove during the last seven days. Hopefully tossing some protein into the mix will help balance the ratio of fiber:other nutrients, and thus have me returning my fat jeans to the depths of my closet. I'm already salivating over the thought of unleashing beans and quinoa upon my go-to bland veggie mush. Not to mention the sweet potatoes or almond nut butter I can't wait to reincorporate. I'm so stoked about the latter that I've crafted a poem to honor the hands-down best toast topper out there.

Ode to My Favorite Spread
Oh, almond nut butter
Almond nut butter
If you were a person
You would be my lover

Detox Disappointment

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 1:34 PM

All I have to say is...

July 10th - invite to the VIP lounge at a Tears for Fears concert that would not only grant me rights to scream along shamelessly to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," but also entrance to the all-you-can-eat food buffet, endless wine, and access to the dessert tent(?!)
July 11th - free slurpees at 7-Elevens nationwide
July 17th - free ice cream at the Westlake Ben & Jerry's

Why must these monumental occasions take place during my detox? Oh, the injustice!

Detox Revelations: The End of Week 1

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 4:26 PM

This isn't so bad. My head has become accustomed to the lack of caffeine and no longer feels as though it's being flanked by the two cold metal slabs of a tightly cranked vice. I've discovered (and frequently enjoyed!) the many ways in which rice can transform itself. I've survived the role of high maintenance eater and waiter's worst nightmare among a party of five at the ever delightful Cafe Flora. I spent Fourth of July weekend indulging in some of my favorite [temptation-free] activities: reading, writing, finally catching up on laundry and long distance phone calls, and watching my dreamboat Emile Hirsch starve to death in Into the Wild (and I thought I had it bad!) The two bottles of wine that adorned my counter pre-detox are still corked and I've had to fight little urge to grab my trusty Rabbit (the one that opens my beloved Cab Sauv. Jeez - this is a PG-rated blog, people!) Most importantly, my stomach feels better. The cramping has stopped and bloating has been sparse. Except of course when I thought it was a bright idea to consume half a watermelon because it just tasted so darn good. (Hey, it's on my list of things to eat and there's nothing in the fine print about quantity restrictions. And besides, I learned my lesson.) All in all I'd say things are looking optimistic. Of course, tomorrow marks the beginning of the most intese step of the detoxification program: Week Two. For the next seven days it'll be rice, organic fruits and veggies (no peppers, tomatoes, potatoes or corn) and very little movement. Less time spent grocery shopping, preparing food, and a valid excuse to keep my tennies on the shelf? Maybe this will be more like a mini-vacation than deprivation. I'll find out soon enough...

Detox Day 2

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 3:15 PM

I want coffffeeeeeeee.....

Detox Day 1

posted by Front Desk Wonder @ 2:18 PM

Seven hours into my detox and I'm still standing.

My morning started off with 12 ounces of chicory root in lieu of coffee and although surely not the same thing, it was pretty tasty and almost as satisfying as my beloved dark roast. I think my excessive coffee consumption has more to do with the mental association of waking up to a piping hot cup o' liquid than any real physical dependence. Of course, we'll see if I'm saying the same thing in a couple hours....or days.

Breakfast consisted of a fruit smoothie made with Dr. Lauren's prescribed elixir: MediClear. I blended two scoops of the rice protein powder with rice milk, water and frozen mango and pineapple. It was actually pretty refreshing. I typically don't drink smoothies because just bearing the thought of washing out the blender is too much effort. However, the clean-up wasn't so bad and this experience may just change my mind about spending an extra five minutes to get a delicious high-protein quick-to-eat meal.

Lunch was consumed in the form of a large mixed salad with a variety of vegetables (no tomatoes), sprinkled with sunflower seeds and olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Prior to the detox I had been using one of those spray dressings, but now that I'm scrutinizing all the labels I come across, I was surprised to find that it contained high fructose corn syrup, a big no-no on the list of items to eat/avoid.

Snacks have included a banana, apple and tiny bag of mixed fancy nuts (dry, unsalted and no peanuts.) A craving for something crisp sent me to Whole Foods during my lunch break and while perusing the chip/cracker aisle it became very apparent just how many foods contain dairy, soy and gluten. Just as I was about to lose total hope, I came across a bag of rice cakes whose sole ingredient was Eco-Farmed whole grain brown rice. Sounds very tantalizing, no? When I came back to work Ruth suggested popping them in the toaster and spreading a little almond butter across their bubbly surfaces. It actually sounded pretty good. The only problem of course being that I can't have almond butter (or any butter for that matter) in my house; one tablespoon very quickly turns into one jar. Who knew I was such a high maintenance eater?

As I sit here now wondering what I'm going to eat for dinner (probably brown rice and veggies, which is probably what I'll be eating for the next three weeks straight) I'm thinking this may be harder than I imagined. And thinking about having dinner with my [very unhealthy] family this Friday makes my stomach churn. Which is exactly how this whole thing started....